Stress is consuming me I need an advil....
I'd prefer something stronger....
Hell just knock me out.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You Stole Something From Me
You stole something from me
Something the human eye can't even see.
Feelin broken down my body aches
My heart it bleeds from past mistakes.
Cant stop the tears, they fall like rain
The events are spinning round in my brain.
Just praying now that youd see what youd done
Tossed me around and said we're just having some fun
So scared and feeling all alone
This coldness fills my every bone.
I wanted to fight and run for the door
But you broke me down and still wanted more
You left me on the bed shaken and broken
I prayed this was all a dream and Id be awoken
No food, no sleep, can't think at all
Each way I turn, another wall.
This darkness haunts my very soul
My world seems dead I lost control.
Payback is hell and thats what you deserve
I just want you to know that took alot of nerve.
What once was bright is now dim and cold
You thought you were clever, feeling oh so bold.
How dare you try and do this to me
And assume that I will move on just let it be.
You killed my spirit and damaged my soul
My foundations you trampled on and you stole.
I can pretend to get over and that I dont care
But remembrance of all this is a lasting nightmare.
The only weapon now is my pen
Depression has moved in once again.
The deception and darkness now I see
For you so carelessly stole something from me.
Something the human eye can't even see.
Feelin broken down my body aches
My heart it bleeds from past mistakes.
Cant stop the tears, they fall like rain
The events are spinning round in my brain.
Just praying now that youd see what youd done
Tossed me around and said we're just having some fun
So scared and feeling all alone
This coldness fills my every bone.
I wanted to fight and run for the door
But you broke me down and still wanted more
You left me on the bed shaken and broken
I prayed this was all a dream and Id be awoken
No food, no sleep, can't think at all
Each way I turn, another wall.
This darkness haunts my very soul
My world seems dead I lost control.
Payback is hell and thats what you deserve
I just want you to know that took alot of nerve.
What once was bright is now dim and cold
You thought you were clever, feeling oh so bold.
How dare you try and do this to me
And assume that I will move on just let it be.
You killed my spirit and damaged my soul
My foundations you trampled on and you stole.
I can pretend to get over and that I dont care
But remembrance of all this is a lasting nightmare.
The only weapon now is my pen
Depression has moved in once again.
The deception and darkness now I see
For you so carelessly stole something from me.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Drunkin Weekend
Welcome to the ville.
Here in the great city of Louisville KY they have this thing they call the Bambi Walk. It so happens to be on the last saturday in August every year. Since it fell on my birthday my friends decided to open my eyes to the expierience. Now here is how this goes down...
You pay money for a tshirt, this money is then donated, so its for a good cause. Right.....
Well then you begin: at 4pm at a bar called Bambi's.... This is the first bar that leads the way to a three mile strip of bars. 42 in all. Now the trick to this adventure is to stop at each bar, (nicely listed on the backs of your shirts as to be sure you wont miss any) making sure to have one drink at each location. Now don't worry, to make sure this doesnt get too expensive for you they give you killer specials for wearing the tshirt..... And in the case of someone like me, if it actually is your birthday you get your drink for free.
Why do they call this the bambi walk you ask.... Well, besides the obviouse being the name of the begining bar... The trick is to try and make it to all fourty bars before last call at 4am.. Now making it doesn't mean you ride to the last ten on someones back.. You must physically walk your drunk ass to the all. And for most they dont even make if half way. And still they are walking like "bambi" hence The Bambi Walk.
Now me being the true champ that I am (and the fact that I didn't know what I was getting into) wore heels in true rockstar fashion. But I was a true dedicated walker and I pushed through the pain, made it to the end, and was still standing... What do you think about that... It was one crazy , long ass night for sure.
Oh, did I mention I did cheat a little... see I am only about a buck 25 soaking wet and 40 drinks would have killed me... So I must admit I didnt drink at every location.. but don't tell my friends, the are too impressed with the thought that I did it..... Did I metion my feet are killing me today, three miles in heels is no picnic.
Here in the great city of Louisville KY they have this thing they call the Bambi Walk. It so happens to be on the last saturday in August every year. Since it fell on my birthday my friends decided to open my eyes to the expierience. Now here is how this goes down...
You pay money for a tshirt, this money is then donated, so its for a good cause. Right.....
Well then you begin: at 4pm at a bar called Bambi's.... This is the first bar that leads the way to a three mile strip of bars. 42 in all. Now the trick to this adventure is to stop at each bar, (nicely listed on the backs of your shirts as to be sure you wont miss any) making sure to have one drink at each location. Now don't worry, to make sure this doesnt get too expensive for you they give you killer specials for wearing the tshirt..... And in the case of someone like me, if it actually is your birthday you get your drink for free.
Why do they call this the bambi walk you ask.... Well, besides the obviouse being the name of the begining bar... The trick is to try and make it to all fourty bars before last call at 4am.. Now making it doesn't mean you ride to the last ten on someones back.. You must physically walk your drunk ass to the all. And for most they dont even make if half way. And still they are walking like "bambi" hence The Bambi Walk.
Now me being the true champ that I am (and the fact that I didn't know what I was getting into) wore heels in true rockstar fashion. But I was a true dedicated walker and I pushed through the pain, made it to the end, and was still standing... What do you think about that... It was one crazy , long ass night for sure.
Oh, did I mention I did cheat a little... see I am only about a buck 25 soaking wet and 40 drinks would have killed me... So I must admit I didnt drink at every location.. but don't tell my friends, the are too impressed with the thought that I did it..... Did I metion my feet are killing me today, three miles in heels is no picnic.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Its 2am and I wanna go to bed!!!
It's 1:25 in the am and my bed is calling my name. It's too bad my parents came to visit and I am sleeping on the couch so they can enjoy the comforts of my bed. My bed. Damn. I guess its the least I can do for them. Shit I hate knowing I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight. I remember the days when I could sleep any where. Contort my body into any position and stay comfy. Now if I even breath wrong in my sleep my neck is sore. I'm getting old and its showing loud and clear. I just washed those sheets too.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Him - Her - Sex
Here is some food for thought on why a woman doesn't like sex with out the love of a relationship, see women know, in there great wisdom, that a relationship with sex is sometimes hard to keep. Sex is an excellent syllabol, which detonates meaning and is fillable with much connotation. Of coarse it conjures a deed done and conjugal entanglement of bodies, where love and lust get down to business.
Man can enjoy sex with or without the presence of love. But us women see ourselves as a sexual object and heaven forbid we engage in sex without love. What a number it does on our psyche. When their desire fires itself up and down and sometimes leads them out on the town. And silly as man may be they have the great ability to think about the sex first and worry about the feelings that may come later. And they almost seem to prefer that other word. The one that rhymes with truck, the one that gets so often stuck in awkward syntactical positions. To man sex is life in frenzied love with itself, all lips and hips, rounds and flats. For the woman sex is more of the sultry strategies and tender tactics, a sensual consensual congress.
Womans first thought comes with love, and maybe if that man is lucky sex will then become appealing. When it comes to a woman sex always starts way before the bedroom. And I think we may all agree that with men sex can draw out the upmost stupidity. They shouldnt expect much from a relationship if he isnt willing to treat her right. We wouldnt want sex to become a chore, or ultimately even a bore. Remember to show her love outside the bedroom. Because to her sex without love is fullfilling of just the physical desire, not her emotional desires and with out the emotional she will surely venture else where. When you add real love to sex, its like adding fuel to the fire.
Man can enjoy sex with or without the presence of love. But us women see ourselves as a sexual object and heaven forbid we engage in sex without love. What a number it does on our psyche. When their desire fires itself up and down and sometimes leads them out on the town. And silly as man may be they have the great ability to think about the sex first and worry about the feelings that may come later. And they almost seem to prefer that other word. The one that rhymes with truck, the one that gets so often stuck in awkward syntactical positions. To man sex is life in frenzied love with itself, all lips and hips, rounds and flats. For the woman sex is more of the sultry strategies and tender tactics, a sensual consensual congress.
Womans first thought comes with love, and maybe if that man is lucky sex will then become appealing. When it comes to a woman sex always starts way before the bedroom. And I think we may all agree that with men sex can draw out the upmost stupidity. They shouldnt expect much from a relationship if he isnt willing to treat her right. We wouldnt want sex to become a chore, or ultimately even a bore. Remember to show her love outside the bedroom. Because to her sex without love is fullfilling of just the physical desire, not her emotional desires and with out the emotional she will surely venture else where. When you add real love to sex, its like adding fuel to the fire.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Princess In Need
Most all my friends are looking for a man to treat them like a princess.
Been there felt that.. but right now in this very moment, I am not looking for my prince, but my partner in crime.
Just Saying.
Been there felt that.. but right now in this very moment, I am not looking for my prince, but my partner in crime.
Just Saying.
Waking Up Uneasy
Today I woke up with an uneasy feeling. Somethings missing. Its like no matter how hard I try there is a lonely pit in the depths of my being. Why is it that we as a human race always seem to be chasing this fullfillment, this happiness. Why is that we never seem to be content with what life has laid out for us. We need to stop seeing each day as a hardship and a step to where we are going and what we are trying to achieve, but as a gift. Each day we are givin breath to expierience all the great things in front of us. We are so lucky to be alive. Why is that we always need more.
It seems to me that we also avoid things that we are afraid of as if we are afraid that confronting them will bring on some dire consequences. What we fail to recognise is that the true dire consequences come from our fear that leads us to avoid those things that we need to discover or learn about, even if it is through our faults.
There are so many situations I myself avoid for this reason alone. And the ending result is always the same, unsatidsfied and anger for not at least trying. Avoidance is rarely satisfying. They say curiosity killed the cat, well I guess its good that that cat has nine lives. I believe I only have a few left. But now I pledge to use them each to there fullest. No more waking up uneasy.
It seems to me that we also avoid things that we are afraid of as if we are afraid that confronting them will bring on some dire consequences. What we fail to recognise is that the true dire consequences come from our fear that leads us to avoid those things that we need to discover or learn about, even if it is through our faults.
There are so many situations I myself avoid for this reason alone. And the ending result is always the same, unsatidsfied and anger for not at least trying. Avoidance is rarely satisfying. They say curiosity killed the cat, well I guess its good that that cat has nine lives. I believe I only have a few left. But now I pledge to use them each to there fullest. No more waking up uneasy.
Missing You
Every night when I lay me down to sleep,
I want to reach over and feel your touch so sweet.
Although I know right now I can't be there,
Sooner or later we will be brought together with care.
My sheets, oh so cold, I'm falling into a hole,
There's this unending empty feeling in the pit of my sole.
I start to wonder, what if we had never met,
Would my so-called-life be any better yet?
But I have never felt so beautiful , as I do when I am talking to you,
I finally found the acceptance that all along I have been yerning,
But not to forget that I am young and know I'm still learning.
Time has made me attatched to you, an emotion I don't want to let go,
I soon saw how close we were and the feeling was good to know.
The minutes without you have turned into days. The hours with you just flew past,
I only wish to see you more and make every and each new moment last.
With you I'm in a whole new world, you seem to bring out the best in me,
It is hard to think of you not being here so together our bodies can be.
I know we love the same, as it doubles day by day,
but still when I look at you, I become speachless, not knowing what to say.
Yes, I know the road ahead my get hard, and somat times may only seem rough,
But because you and I love so much I know we will always stay strong and in touch.
Though problems may lie ahead someday, and either of us could be right,
I kind of like being by your side even when I'm no where in sight.
But most of all I promise you my loving heart, you gotta promise to hold it tight,
Our dreams and passions may then live on through every night.
And each night beside my bed, when theres only that pic of you I see,
I'll pray that we will never give up and always remain you and me.
I want to reach over and feel your touch so sweet.
Although I know right now I can't be there,
Sooner or later we will be brought together with care.
My sheets, oh so cold, I'm falling into a hole,
There's this unending empty feeling in the pit of my sole.
I start to wonder, what if we had never met,
Would my so-called-life be any better yet?
But I have never felt so beautiful , as I do when I am talking to you,
I finally found the acceptance that all along I have been yerning,
But not to forget that I am young and know I'm still learning.
Time has made me attatched to you, an emotion I don't want to let go,
I soon saw how close we were and the feeling was good to know.
The minutes without you have turned into days. The hours with you just flew past,
I only wish to see you more and make every and each new moment last.
With you I'm in a whole new world, you seem to bring out the best in me,
It is hard to think of you not being here so together our bodies can be.
I know we love the same, as it doubles day by day,
but still when I look at you, I become speachless, not knowing what to say.
Yes, I know the road ahead my get hard, and somat times may only seem rough,
But because you and I love so much I know we will always stay strong and in touch.
Though problems may lie ahead someday, and either of us could be right,
I kind of like being by your side even when I'm no where in sight.
But most of all I promise you my loving heart, you gotta promise to hold it tight,
Our dreams and passions may then live on through every night.
And each night beside my bed, when theres only that pic of you I see,
I'll pray that we will never give up and always remain you and me.
.
This is too my BFF
Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, Which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.
Friendships, I must say, are far different then all other relationships. Unlike aquaintanceships, friendship is based on love, but unlike lovers and married couples, it is free of jealousy. Unlike children and parents, it knows neither criticism or resentment. Friendship has no status in law. Business partnerships are based on a contract, as is marriage. Even your parents are bound by the law. But friendships are freely entered into, freely given, and freely exercised.
Without friends, noone would want to live, even if he or she is blessed with all other goods. I feel the worse solitude is to live life with out these such friendships. Oh, the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak. Speak freely on any subject; with whos ones deepest, along with most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Not to mention the inexpressable comforft you feel with that such a person. Having to neither weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them. Keeping what is worth keeping and then with a breath of kindness, blowing the rest away.
Bring it on wild weather, come sleet or snow, we two will stand together, however you may blow.
Friendships, I must say, are far different then all other relationships. Unlike aquaintanceships, friendship is based on love, but unlike lovers and married couples, it is free of jealousy. Unlike children and parents, it knows neither criticism or resentment. Friendship has no status in law. Business partnerships are based on a contract, as is marriage. Even your parents are bound by the law. But friendships are freely entered into, freely given, and freely exercised.
Without friends, noone would want to live, even if he or she is blessed with all other goods. I feel the worse solitude is to live life with out these such friendships. Oh, the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak. Speak freely on any subject; with whos ones deepest, along with most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Not to mention the inexpressable comforft you feel with that such a person. Having to neither weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them. Keeping what is worth keeping and then with a breath of kindness, blowing the rest away.
Bring it on wild weather, come sleet or snow, we two will stand together, however you may blow.
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