WOD

The crazy ice that came through the night caused my gym to be closed today for the am sessions. I never have the motivation to go at night but I am feeling inspired to work out from home today so that's what I am going to do. I am going to do yesterday's WOD (Workout Of the Day) Since today's calls for a 2000 meter row and I don't have a row machine at home.

WOD

15 weighted sit ups

15 unassisted pull-ups C2B

15 blurpies

15 push ups

Repeat 4 times

I Had To Get An EPO

"Never let it show: the pain I've grown to know. cuase with all these things we do it don't matter when I'm coming home to you."

Ah, shit. So much has happened in such a little amount of time. When was the last time I wrote on this thing? Was it days ago? No, I think it has almost been weeks. Ah, well, after I finish this lovely entry I have today I will soon be hitting the hay...

I have court at nine am tomorrow. No, no. I am not in trouble, I am a witness. Imagine that, me, a witness. My roommate had to place an EPO on her boyfriend because he refused to leave the house. Really shithead, you don't even pay rent. How does one get to be psycho(he is). Better yet how does one get them in a situation where they are putting up with psycho.

Why do I consider him psycho;
1. He threatened to burn her fish because at 9:30 at night she was out and not home.
2. He locked her 2000$ dog in the back shed and had her believing that he had run away, me and her searched for him for almost an hour before she found him. When confronted he claimed to not know how the dog got in a locked shed.
3. They got in an arguing match that resulted in the cops getting called. The cops asked him to leave for the night. He did but only for two hours. When he returned he had a hedge trimmers and tried to cut through the locks on our doors.
4. Cops get called again, this time by me for catching him trying to cut into the house, they remove him from the property once more. Why they didn't arrest him at this point I don't really know, but once again he wasn't gone long; this time returning with a screwdriver and removing the locks from the door to get in.
5. Fifth and finally he faked a suicide attempt to scare my roommate. He took Halloween blood and tied socks around his wrists. She came up stars to him dripping "blood" everywhere. All the sodden I hear them screaming at each other and when I finally decided to intervene I find him on top of her covered in this fake blood, he then tries to tell me it was just a prank. I almost beat him up I was so mad. Once again though cops get called and this boy gets to stay, how I do not know but I am begging to hate the cops in my neighborhood. They seem to be worthless. Maybe when she is dead they will finally arrest him.

But that is the short version of why I have an EPO (emergencies protection order) I can't make this stuff up.

Thief Lingering

Figures slide across a moon lit bay,
Without a sound the figures slip away.

Terror strikes the child inside my soul,
That shadowed thief plays a big role.

This silent assassin skills he does not lack,
Who will be the victim of his next attack?

Suspect may even be dangerous,
This will surely effect all of us.

Will one by one we hit the ground,
Will then this shadow thief never be found.

Dog Issues

Today I wake up to yet another day where there is dog shit on the dining room floor. Why do people have dogs if they do not know how to take care of them. What is the point. My roommate has two dogs. One is an English bull dog named Dave and the other is a Boston terrier mix named Spike. Now Dave has been in the office behind a door for almost two days straight, she didn't even let him out before she left today. So now I guess I have to do it. Really its no big deal, but I am tired of the lack of responsibility. Then there is Spike whom she gives free reign to the entire house. Where he takes the liberty of pissing and shitting where ever he pleases. Not at all house broken like she promised. What is a girl to do. I have talked to her nicely about it on more then one occasion. Nothing is changing. Sometimes I want to just make the dogs disappear, not because I don't like them, but because I think they deserve more attention.

I wanted to get a dog upon moving in here. That is why I got a place on two fenced in acres. I just had no idea that the girl I moved in didn't actually take care of her dogs to well. So now I can't. Dogs feed off each others bad habits. And I really don't need three untrained house dogs. Plus the attention I would give mine would be unfair to the others. I wouldn't feel right doing that either.

What is a girl to do.

Hiking Today

Was good to get out and hike today. It was the first time I have ever been to Cherokee Park, two years I have lived here and today was my first time there. I loved it. Why did it take me this long to get there. Well that doesn't matter. I will be back though. Sooner then latter. Weather was perfect for it. 8 miles of trail can really make your day seem great. Always helps when the company enjoys to hike as much as you do. Now if I can only get my lazy ass to start running the trail.

Angel McCoughtry

.... And the jersey has been retired....

Sunday

Wow! What happened last night. Sunday Sunday Sunday......

Halloween 2010

My house party turned out to be a rather good night. It wasn't till the very end that some punks I didn't know showed up and started trouble. But that didnt last long, and what, did I actually expect the night to be perfect. Let me just say that for me it almost was. Friends and family, and unexpected appearance from my bff all that mattered to me showed upm well minus one or two, but they had very valid reasons. I feel blessed to have so many really good people around me. Hell, my parents and brother drove three hours just to come. That means a lot to me.

Now what to do with the day. I think maybe I will run. I need to clear my head and my ass could use the exercise. I have been slacking off these last few weeks and its really starting to show. Why is it that when its cold its so easy to let yourself go. Damn sweaters that seemingly hide everything.

Damn Dog

I am very tired this morning. My roomate insist apon keeping her dog out of her room at night. So what does he do, he sits at my door and cries all night. I got no frickin sleep and I am aggrivated as hell. This shit stops tomorrow. She either is going to agree to let him sleep in her room, buy a crate, they aren't that much. Or after she goes to bed I will put him outside. I love dogs and all but this is just too much. This is the third night in a row that he has kept me up. If I don't start getting sleep soon I am going to go off on someone.

Oh happy monday, how great you are.

Its Amost Friday

What a week. The kids I nanny for are on fall break and my car is in the shop. That makes our days so long. I never realized how quickly these kids get bored when you can't take them anywhere or pick up their friends. Oh well, today is thurseday, making my work week almost over.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess you could say, but even still there is a smile on my face. Some people just know what to do or say to make everything all right. Even if just for a moment. There is something I am missing in my life right now. I know what it is, I just don't know how to get it back.

Why Still Single?

Its not what it is supposed to be, it is what it is. Why are you, or someone you know still single. There are alot of single people out there looking for mates. So why are you still single. Let me just say, Internet dating is not, no matter what you think, like ordering a pizza. Internet dating is a great way to meet people but there are people who are afraid to try it because they are afraid of what may happen.

Its one thing to complain about not getting enough dates, but now take the steps to change your life and change your surroundings. Something is obviously not working for you. This is all about self reflection, and making the change so you no longer have to be single. Just for starters, there is a difference between being single, and not being able to get a date. In other words, you may be single by choice and that is OK.

One reason that someone may be single when they just don't want to be is because they might have issues with a past relationship that they haven't work all the way through just yet. Thus bringing that negativity and expectation onto any new person they might meet. Anytime you meet someone new, you have to give them that clean slate, or it will undoubtedly fail. Most people don't even know that they are doing it at the time.

A bad attitude will also assist you in staying single. We all have had bad dating experiences but you cant look at every date and expect it to go wrong. Stop looking for the things that are going to be bad and try to see the positive ones. No one says you have to be in a bad mood to have a bad attitude either, remember that. We all have grumpy moments, just don't make that your only moments when out on a date.

If more then two people tell you something, then its probably true.

Also if you are a work-a-holic that will keep you single. Make time for a date. Don't always work late or throw yourself into your work. If you find yourself staying at work late because you don't feel like making plans or being bored. Don't come off as somebody whom is too busy to date, because trust me your not. Its is a big turn off for someone that may be actually looking for someone to seriously date. Take a deep breath and step back from your life for a minute.

Three thoughts to swallow for now. Just remember only you can truly change your direction and how you handle any given opportunity to not be single.

Birth Flower

Everyone knows that they have a specific birthstone that goes along with the month that you were born in. However, what most people don't know, me included till now, is that everyone also has a corresponding birth flower.Each one having a history of why it is your birth flower. Mine are gladiolus and poppies. I find that a little weird, its like a state bird or something. Lol.

Flower Meaning:
Poppy- Eternal Sleep, Imagination, Oblivion
Gladiolus- Sincerity, Strength of Character, Generosity, Natural Grace

Interesting fact about a Poppy; Legend states that seeds of a poppy when ingested can cause someone to test positive for opium during a drug test. Is this just a legend or is there truth to it. Well, my favorite show myth busters actually did an episode on this very legend. After eating a shit ton of poppy seeds their two subjects successfully tested positive for opium for the remainder of the day. But don't worry if you are ever to test this theory. It only lasted that day, the next morning they tested negative.

If you know me, what do you think of me and my flower meanings?

My Body Hurts

A red head walks into the ER and says, "Help me doctor, my entire body hurts. See I will show you." She then begins to poke herself, first in the forehead, "Ouch", then in the stomach, "Thats soo painfull you just don't know." Then she presses her finger to her leg, "They hurt too." she screams out in pain.

The doctor then looks at the poor girl with a puzzled look on his face, replies; "Sweet dear, your not really a red head are you?"

"No, I was born a blond.", she answers,"but what does that have to do with anything?"

"My dear, You have a broken finger." Is all he could say.

Well, I'm not blond, and my whole body really does hurt. I'm truly trying to get in shape and my trainer allows no slack. I just never truly realized how seriously out of shape I am. No wonder our society is so unhealthy. Hell, I'm 28, 5'7 and only 132lbs. To look at me you would think I got this fitness thing in the bag. But I am so far from that. Why does working out hard for ten minutes make me feel absolutely dead. This is so embarrassing. There are so many things on my can't do list that I need to get off of there as soon as possible. I just realized that doing ten consecutive push-ups is on my can't do list. Shit, three consecutive push-ups is on my can't do list. But I WILL do them, its not a matter of if, its a matter of when.

Friday Is Here!!!

For some reason I am just super happy it is friday. Crossfit workout under my belt for today, weather is finally begining to change. It was so nice out this morning. Finally, after a stressful crazy summer, I am getting back into a routine and its just one of those proverbial T.G.I.F. kinda days.

Now the weekend is upon me, whatever shall I do. If you must ladies, put down your books, grab your men and do the damn thing. But for me it is, I think, another lay low weekend for. Might hit up the local Gaslight Festival but other then that I believe I'll do some writing and some relaxing. Can't do anything tonight, I got another Crossfit workout at 10am. This place is addicting. I am sore, but not too sore, love it.

I Can't Spell

Never could. Prob never will be able to. Damn it. Makes me look so ignorant. If I looked up every word that I was unsure on how to spell I would be spell checking stuff all day long. So sorry if you come across even the easiest of words misspelled. Its never a matter of if with me and my writing, but a matter of when.

First Day Crossfit

Today was the first day I walked into a crossfit gym. Hello Derby City Crossfit. Naturally there is an overly ripped girl doing pull-ups. Who knows how many were required but she was doing them quick and flawlessly. Here is when I learned about the art of kipping. A move that lets you use your momentum and whole body strength to do the pull-ups and not just the arms. I sure did want to learn how to kip because my weak ass can't even do one pull-up. Kipping involves swinging your body-leading with your hips, while pulling yourself up. Then pushing yourself away from the bar on your way down to keep your momentum going and continue as in one easy movement right into the next rep. This may sound so much easier then your regular pull-up but don't be fooled. It is hard work.

At the end of my first day at Derby City Crossfit I thought all was well, but when I started filling out my paperwork to join there program I got light headed. So much so that I had to lay down with an ice pack under my neck and a wash cloth on my forehead. How embarrassing. On the floor in front of everyone. Well that's how I role. First impressions last forever right. May as well make sure everyone there remembers me. I am so excited to join the crossfit team. All I need to do is stick with it. The people are super nice and it makes it way more fun then just going to the gym.

I go back for day two on Friday. Hopefully I can make it through without almost passing out. And I can't wait to find out what other workout tips they have to teach me. Rumor has it that this program is very intense. I believe and I am ready. Iron Man here I came.

MMA Fight Louisville

So I went to my first MMA fight last night. Interesting to say the least. I must say, they were some of the shortest fights I have ever seen. But Brent Weedman, Louisville's own, didn't do too bad. Especially after all the trouble he had with his past blood clot. He was matched against Jacob (Tick Tock) McClintock last night at the 4th Street Live Bellator season 4 welterweight qualifying match.

Brian Baker (against Horn) also came out on top last night, even after his battle with cancer. The 24 year old had a tough time dealing with his opponents grappling in the beginning but managed to pull through in the second two rounds, busting up Horn's face a little and getting a well deserved unanimous win. These boys just show how we can't let anything keep us down. If you want it you can get it. You just have to want it.

Makovsky and West came out on top and are scheduled to fight on October 14 for the Bellator season 3 Bantamweight tournament. I can't wait till they come back to the Ville and do this again. What an experience.

My Whole Body Aches

Perhaps you are one of these crazy workout people who hammer away at it everyday, doubling up your reps and extending your cardio time. Trying to get more bang for your buck. I guess there is always that fear in your mind, that if you take a break your muscles will deplete from you. Leaving you somewhat fat, bloated, and worst of all ugly.

My Whole Body Aches

A red head walks into the doctors office and says "Doctor please help me my whole body aches." The Doctor looks her over wants and replies "Well whatever is the matter?"
"Let me show you." she replies as she pushes her finger against her arm and screams. Then she cries out again as she pushes her finger against her leg, and even a third time as she pushes her finger against her neck. "See everything hurts." she whimpers. The doctor then turns around and replies "Your not really a red head are you?" With a confused look on her face she replies "No, I was born a blond. What does that have to do with anything."
He turns to her and says, "My dear, your finger is broken."

Are you one of those people who is hammering away day after day, trying to get the most bang for your buck, sure that if you stop working out for any reason your muscles will deplete from your frame. Leaving you fat bloated and ugly. Well I'm not. First off, over training is a real problem and you can even reach a point where your body will stop progressing because of it. So be like me and take a day off to passively rest. I know tomorrow I will not be doing anything strenuous. For today my workout kicked my but and I already feel it. I know I need to recover. I feel like my legs got ran over by a truck. Its saturday night and my weak ass is at home soakin in hot water. My whole body aches. But no broken fingers here.

Cuddle, Its Good 4 You

Today felt like the longest day ever. Thank god for sweats I wish I could wear them everyday everywhere. Now if I only had someone to cuddle all would be perfect. I think the one thing I miss the most about being in a relationship is the cuddling. There is simply nothing better then snuggling up with someone you love and care about. When engaged in cuddling there is no need for conversation, the closeness is sufficient. Cuddling is both physically and emotionally good for ones health. People should do it a lot more.

Blah Blah Monday

What a Monday. I spent an hour at the court house just to pay a traffic ticket. Why oh why cant I just send a check in the mail. Is appearing in court really needed. What a waist of every ones time involved. But hell, now they get an extra 145$ out of me for court costs. Everyone has to make their money right? All this because the cop said I "pumped" my breaks at the intersection, failing to make a complete stop. Well shit. That "break pumping" maneuver is costing me over 200$ now.

Do you know that running a stop sign is one of the most common causes of accidents. But who's to say I 'ran' it, her word against mine. I stopped, I thought I stopped. Hell, I didn't even know why she was pulling me over. I guess I could have fought the ticket but hell, its just money, plus the prosecutor reduced it to equipment failure so I wouldn't get any points. I know all the residents in Oldahm County are now thanking me for my contribution to the community.

Forgiveness - The Shack

Forgiveness is first for you the forgiver, to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly.

Though forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change no real relationship can be established.

Don't ever discount the wonders of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.

Always remember; If anything matters then everything matters.

Hate Running, So Did I

So all my life I was told I should be a runner, that it was in my blood. I refused, I hated everything about running. All the kids on the school track team were amazing, went to state every year I can remember, winning most times too. How convenient that my dad was also a damn track star in high school. He ran the 2 mile in something like 9 min and 42 seconds. I don't know about anyone else but that's about the time it takes me to run a mile.

My parents were so convinced that it was in my blood that when I was 15 and they caught me driving without my license, rather then get me in real trouble, they made me join track. It was the most grueling high school semester of my life. I cussed them everyday, I think my track coach did too. I was the worst one one the team by far. But she refused to cut me because my parents informed her of the situation at hand. Do you know how hard a track team practices, one that goes to state every year. FML. Fridays were our easy days and do you know what we did on Fridays, ran 5 miles. Ha, easy, my ass.

My god I think I found it. Found what? My running mojo.

So why now that I am 28 years old did I ever decide to start running, because I want to? Yeah sort of, a friend of mine asked me to do the Triple Crown with her, I laughed and walked off. But before I knew it I was really considering it. So I went to my gym and got on the treadmill. It was a painful start, 1 mile almost killed me. I think it was like a 12 min mile too, I may as well have been walking. But I kept at it and I ran the Triple Crown ( a 5k, a 10k, then a 10 mile run). Funny thing about it, my friend who asked me never ended up running it with me. Oh well, her loss.

Now I have got a new mindset. Set up some goals for myself. I want to develop my own plan. It is very important to keep it from feeling like a chore. When it feels like work, that's when we all shut down. I want to compete in the iron man competition by the time I'm thirty. That gives me two years to get myself into shape. I'm gonna need it. Two miles at almost a jogging pace about killed me yesterday. Yeah, just like I thought, my body hates me today. Who would have thought running two miles would have made my legs sore. That has never happened. I really let myself slip this summer. Damn. Oh well, all you can do is push through it. I'll be back to 6 miles in no time. Hahaha, oh it sounds so nice. This also coming from a girl who hates to run. That's right, to my very core.

I mean, used to hate to run. I find a peace and solitude in it now. Maybe where as once I had to do it and now I choose to, I don't know. I just really find myself enjoying it. I like the time it gives me to just think, think about my day, my week, and my life. There is no one around to bother me. Just me, my shoes, and the pavement. Fall is approaching, my favorite time to be out running. Anyone can do it too, no matter how old. If you don't think you can then start out slow. And if this means you run ten steps and walk ten steps, then go for it. It doesn't matter how far you are running at a time, as long as your running. You'll be up to a mile in no time.

Please You Tube: CAN The Strongest Dad In The World

My inspiration for my goal to do the iron man. This video made me cry. Yeah CRY!

Back in the Gym! UGH!

We are all guilty of having a long lay-off from the gym, wheather it be because of a vacation, an injury, maybe we got sick, or if your like me, you just got lazy and let yourself slip. Too bad my damn ego thought I could just waltz back into the gym today and do my normal routine, reality check hit hard this morning. My body is just not ready for all that. I have a feeling tomorrow will be brutal. But I can't let this get me down, for if I do it will lead to more missed workouts and further slipping from my goal. So I guess I must slowlly transition myself back into the gym so I don't get discouraged any further.

I can't believe I got away from it. I was doing so good everyday in, sometimes twice. But back to ground zero, square one. No matter, I got this. Today was the re-begining of something good for me. No more letting anything get in the way of me and my goals.

Just Sayin.

Summer Sun

I hoped since August was over the summer heat would have gone, the end of summer oh so near. But not so fast, as if it herd my inner wishes, to spite me the heat has lingered just a little longer. Too bad no matter how hard we try we can't stop time. Now here is September with all its scheduals and fall activities. The days of the river and reading under the shade tree are almost completely gone. The temps were always hot, more so then most past summers, but none the less we had some great days in the mix. Like today, not a cloud in the sky.

There is a short run on my list of things to do this evening. Just as the sun begins to crawl behind the trees and the cool Sept. night air begins to creep about. Yes that is what I shall do tonight. Nothing but me and my thoughts to hit the pavement.

Text Me Yours, I'll Text You Mine

Getting out of bed today was harder then normal. Who would of thought after all that relaxing at home I would want to continue sleeping today away. I guess it was all that late night texting I was doing. Why does social networking, texting and im-ing seem to run our lives? Well, its just so damn easy to be the person you want to be behind a screen or a keyboard. What have we come to, all I find myself wanting to do anymore is text. I can have a whole conversation and plan a whole weekend without ever picking up a phone. The sad thing is I like it.

Its easier to tell people what they want to hear when you know they can't see you and read your face and how you really don't think or feel like that at all. It may seem to be easier but I assure you its the devil. Life will never be easier because of this, and relationships(the most difficult thing in life) made easier, can't be all that good. I think all this does them way more harm then good. I always find my self texting in an emotional state, good or bad, thats when I want to do it the most. And if Im in a bad mood there is no telling what I'll say.

Thing is, once you hit send, that shit is gone. Across a wire and on its way, nothing you can do about it. Do you ever find yourself, like me, trying to dig out of that hole you just built by accidently sending an angry message. Maybe you sent it to the wrong person entirely. Good luck with that. They can save those messages forever, and if your really lucky they will and when shit gets bad again, they will revert back to them. Remembering how crazy you sounded, how crazy you acted. Never forgetting, never letting go.

OH, and don't forget the ever so popular drunk texting, we have all done it at least once in our lives. This kind of texting is the very worst. You are usually one of two things: Madly in love with the recieving indavidual, where you text them how much you miss them, how great they are, what you want to do to them the next time you see them. Maybe how you owe them the world and your so glad to have them in your life, but most importantly what you want to do to them. Or you hate them with every bone in your body, they suck, you never want to see them again, how dare they call themselves your friend. Damn them for breathing, they are worthless and somehow they single handedly ruined your life.

See, its always one of the two, if its in between and your drunk, you don't even bother sending a message. Those in between people only matter if the one your madly in love with wont pick your drunk ass up and bring you home. The great thing about this drunk texting, you are always 100% in the right, until the exact second when you sober up and check your phone history. Then wheather you were madly in love with the person, or hated their guts, I think the feeling of regret is about equal. Depending I guess on the person.

Then of coarse all the images we send back and fourth via cell phones and the web. Have we all forgotten that once you post that picture of your half naked ass, anyone in the world can down load it to there desktop. Your "friends" can forward it to anyone they see fit. Some perve in another country has access to your "day at the beach" pic where you might just be wearing your new favorite bikini.... Something tells me I bet its his favorite too. We allow ourselves to be exploited and most times we don't even realize it. Im just getting over all this, it seems to do me more harm then good. So easy, yet so possible damaging, if your not carefull.

We are poisoning our relationships with all this, the acusations and misstrust that so many people find themselves swimming in because of the ease we have to stay in contact with 2000 people we don't really know through things like Myspace, Friendster, and Facebook. I must admit, I use the hell out of some facebook, but I find myself wishing I never started. Its a damn addiction. I am just glad I don't get completely wrapped up in it. I know people that can't live without it. People that feel the need to Tweet their every action. Why on earth would you want 1 billion people that also tweet and follow, be able to know your every action. We just make it easy, who needs to be a window stalker anymore. They have access to way more personal shit via the net and things you intentionally posted. We have lost our minds.

If you truely care about someone, and don't just like the "post" they probably stole from a book or the web, then I suggest you actually go spend time with them. Giving yourself time to actually get to know the real them. If they are to far away, then pick up the phone. Its not as great as being in person. But better then the rest.

I am sorry for all my friends who have been on the recieving end of any drunken angry texts I may have sent since the creation of cell phones and unlimited texting. ;)

Finally A Relaxing Weekend

Its been far to long since I've had a completely me weekend, with no partying, no drama, no nothing. So I decided to relax this weekend. Even though it is one of the biggest party weekends of the summer I decided it best to take time out for me. I find that most people are way to busy these days, wrapped up in not only there own lives, but everyone elses. I think we all just need to take a step back every once in awhile and remember what its like to relax and enjoy ourselves. Im almost tired of trying to "keep up" I guess I am getting too old. Or as I like to tell myself "too cool" for all that nonsence. hahaha Love IT..

I did however go to the Louisville vs UK game, but to miss that would be blasphemy.

Even though I ventured out for the game I still made it home right after. Was warming up my couch with the new Alice in Wonderland by 8pm. Something about that dear old Johnny Depp, I could watch his movies over and over and never get bored. You know they say he is the number 2 pick for husbands on the "Celebrity I'd allow my wife to sleep with List." Second only to Brad Pitt.

I also decided to fill up on ever so fattening fast food all weekend. My immune system should be kicken with all the calories its inhailed in the past three days. Nothing like a 12am Wendy's run because Papa Johns closes at 11 on Sundays. Damn them, did they forget that it was a holiday weekend. lol. Double bacon delux burger, french fries, and a frosty to dip them in... Mwahahahaha..

Lots of sun, lots of movies, splash of reading. Maybe throw in some glasses I think I may be going blind. At this rate by the time Im old and gray I wont be able to see in front of me. Need more carrots...

Back to being lazy, well lets not say lazy, but relaxed. Ive been doing nothing but catching up on reading, watching movies and cleaning. God knows my computer desk area could use it. Coffee cups and trash piling up. I think I am becoming a fb, blogging, ebay selling, computer junkie... lol , is there a group for that. No but seriously, I think I have discovered my new weekend plan: active in the mornings, some running outside, then hit up the gym, and lazy in the afternoons, movies and some reading.

Recently finished the "Shack" great book, highly recomend reading it. It is a rather short novel and makes for a quick painless read. The story is heart touching and really gives you a differnt outlook on life. God it felt good to relax for two days, and thank you for long weekends because I am doing nothing but chillin at the house today too. Sometimes we need to just push things away and refresh ourselves.

A Quote or Two

A kiss is the nature, its way of ending a conversation, when words are no longer necessary.

The human heart feels things the eyes can not see, and knows things the mind can not understand.

How vain is it to sit down and write, when you have not stood up to live.

Out at the Rock Quarry

Tucked away in the small town of Lagrange Kentucky is this great little place called Fallen Rock Park. Now until recently it was only used for scubba diving lessons and private friends and family of the owner. But to everyones luck this summer he decided to open it to the public on Saturdays and Sundays. Its a great giant hole filled with water, you can swim and jump off cliffs, camp and grill out. I think it is the coolest place ever. Awsome reason number one: You must be 18 with a valid ID to enter. That means no children what so ever. Awsome reason number two: as long as you dont have bottles and you keep all things under control, they let you drink and grill out, and do about anything you want. Best part is, its only seven dollars to enter.

The water here is super clear and almost everywhere it is 20+ feet deep. Today the water was as warm as can be, it was so nice and relaxing. I wish I knew about this place earlier in the summer I would have been out there every weekend. Well maybe not everyweekend, but just about. I tell you what its better then being on a boat on the river. This water is clear and I'm not afraid I'll catch something by swimming in it. Its also surounded by trees, so other then the 100 - 200 other people you may find out there its really private. But bring enough adult beverages, the closest place that sells them is about 15 minutes away... Don't want to run out.

Well thats where I found myself today, a co-worker of mine is turning 21 tomorrow, and thats how she wanted to kick off her 21st birthday. Since I am "the girl with the truck" I threw my grill in the back and off I went to help start the party. They day started out so nice, but I was the only one not drinking and well the drunker they got and the more sun burnt I got, the quicker I found myself wanting to leave. I kept praying for a cloud to grace my presence and block out the sun, even if only for a minute, but there wasnt a damn cloud in the sky. Imagine that. Always when you really need something, never there. It seemed no matter how much sun block I applied my body just got hotter and hotter and hotter. The water wasnt helping either.

I hung out as long as I could, but sunburnt sobriety got the best of me, as soon as everyone was done eating I had them pack up my grill and away I went. I hope I don't get blisters. My skin still feels like its on fire, and I have been home for three hours. I am glad to be spending the wekend home. Its nice to keep things simple for a change. But if your ever in Lagrange KY I strongly suggest you check it out. If nothing else, to people watch. Have you ever seen KY rednecks drunk and trying to swim. LMAO..... Makes for such a great afternoon.

Football Begins

Just left the University of Louisville vs University of Kentucky game. Quite a rivalry I must say myself, doesnt quite compare to Ohio State vs Michigan, Go OHIO STATE... I dont think any rivalry does. To bad Louisville lost, I think that makes 5 times in a row now to the big blue. But oh well, we expected that I guess. Im just glad football is finally here. It seems like I have been waiting forever for the season to arrive, where is Heather when I need her. I miss you girl. Never met another girl that could watch football with me like you could. I'm lucky if my girl-friends even know the rules. LOL. Its sad but true.

Friday Night In

I find it rather relaxing to stay home on a friday night. God knows I need to save the money. Its a hard routine to break when your used to going out every weekend all weekend. But it is definately worth it to just stay home. Catching up on me, myself, and I.

Now at first its kinda difficult to relax, I find myself wanting to grab my coat and run for the door. But why, I then ask myself, why bother, what could be so amaizing that I dare not miss out on..... Nothing I tell you, Nothing. There is not a thing in the world that my friends may do that tomorrow I will die because I didn't. If anything, they will sleep till noon, and probably later, and when they do finally arise to the day, with a hangover, I will already have ran two miles, showered and cleaned my closet up. Which is in dire need. I think I could open a consignment shop with all the crap I have in there.

So tonight, I am going to plop my rear on my huge couch and dust off a dvd or two. Enjoy the peace and serenity of this place I call home and simply relax. Hell, maybe I will even read. I find that my brain can never take in too much knowledge, or hold on to it for that matter. lol. Take my advice and learn to enjoy the occasional friday night at home, be it with yourself, your family, or your lover. We sometimes seem to get to involved in the now, and the know. And forget that we may have everything we need to be satisfied right at home.

A walk in the park....

I went to Bernheim forest today, a local park about an hour from here. You forget where you are when your walking through these trees. The sky was a brilliant blue and the trails provided a much needed sence of calmness. Its nice to take time out for me where I am left with only nature and my thoughts. Taking time to think about what has been, what is, and whats to come. Thinking about my work, my family, my true friends, all my travels I've had and those that are still yet to come.

My walk today was simple, not profound in any way. In no way was it life changing. Just some- what peacefull and calm. It had a gentle feeling to it. The kind you get from napping in the afternoon, or that you get from drinking a cold glass of water on a hot summers day. It was the kind of reverie that nurishes the mind, body, and soul. Green trees as far as my eyes could see. Now why can't there be more places around like this. So peacefull and so settling. Didn't want to leave, want to come back again.

Next time I think I will return just before dusk, when the sun is still setting and the moon is still rising. Reminisant of two children on a sea-saw. As one goes down we notice the other must come down. Funny how that is, every action has a reaction. Maybe this time a shorter walk, enjoying the ducks on the lake and the birds in the trees. Stopping to hear every sound. The crickets, the frogs and anything else the sings as night falls. There is something magical about this time of day, when all the night life comes out to play.

Yes I will return. During the fall when the leaves have changed. As I feel there is a change coming for me as well. And this change has been long awaited for.

.

Rise and Shine

Oh weary heart of mine, its time to rise and shine.

Life flys by me as I search for the place where I feel I may belong. I feel like my life has been a long line and I have just been waiting for my turn for far to long. I fear that my patience once so strong is now begining to wear thin. I begin to look forward and sometimes even look back, steadily searching for that place that is right for me. Where it then becomes my turn to fly and my turn to feel free. This place I know is my own, and it was truely ment for only me.

There have been many challenges along my way. But none the less a changed person they have so made me. Suddenly the line fades away and the world becomes something truely different. The world is bright, the world seems new, a place for me to thrive and succeed. A place I no longer feel sad of blue.

Suddenly I feel that everything begins to fit. This may sound selfish this may sound vain, but this new world without lines, is all about me. I am independent and strong. It has become undoubtedly my perfect place. I am no longer alone, and my life I know now is definately not a waiste. Oh weary heart of mine you will rise and shine.

Its Been A Long Day

Stress is consuming me I need an advil....
I'd prefer something stronger....
Hell just knock me out.

You Stole Something From Me

You stole something from me
Something the human eye can't even see.
Feelin broken down my body aches
My heart it bleeds from past mistakes.
Cant stop the tears, they fall like rain
The events are spinning round in my brain.
Just praying now that youd see what youd done
Tossed me around and said we're just having some fun
So scared and feeling all alone
This coldness fills my every bone.
I wanted to fight and run for the door
But you broke me down and still wanted more
You left me on the bed shaken and broken
I prayed this was all a dream and Id be awoken
No food, no sleep, can't think at all
Each way I turn, another wall.
This darkness haunts my very soul
My world seems dead I lost control.
Payback is hell and thats what you deserve
I just want you to know that took alot of nerve.
What once was bright is now dim and cold
You thought you were clever, feeling oh so bold.
How dare you try and do this to me
And assume that I will move on just let it be.
You killed my spirit and damaged my soul
My foundations you trampled on and you stole.
I can pretend to get over and that I dont care
But remembrance of all this is a lasting nightmare.
The only weapon now is my pen
Depression has moved in once again.
The deception and darkness now I see
For you so carelessly stole something from me.

Drunkin Weekend

Welcome to the ville.

Here in the great city of Louisville KY they have this thing they call the Bambi Walk. It so happens to be on the last saturday in August every year. Since it fell on my birthday my friends decided to open my eyes to the expierience. Now here is how this goes down...

You pay money for a tshirt, this money is then donated, so its for a good cause. Right.....

Well then you begin: at 4pm at a bar called Bambi's.... This is the first bar that leads the way to a three mile strip of bars. 42 in all. Now the trick to this adventure is to stop at each bar, (nicely listed on the backs of your shirts as to be sure you wont miss any) making sure to have one drink at each location. Now don't worry, to make sure this doesnt get too expensive for you they give you killer specials for wearing the tshirt..... And in the case of someone like me, if it actually is your birthday you get your drink for free.

Why do they call this the bambi walk you ask.... Well, besides the obviouse being the name of the begining bar... The trick is to try and make it to all fourty bars before last call at 4am.. Now making it doesn't mean you ride to the last ten on someones back.. You must physically walk your drunk ass to the all. And for most they dont even make if half way. And still they are walking like "bambi" hence The Bambi Walk.

Now me being the true champ that I am (and the fact that I didn't know what I was getting into) wore heels in true rockstar fashion. But I was a true dedicated walker and I pushed through the pain, made it to the end, and was still standing... What do you think about that... It was one crazy , long ass night for sure.

Oh, did I mention I did cheat a little... see I am only about a buck 25 soaking wet and 40 drinks would have killed me... So I must admit I didnt drink at every location.. but don't tell my friends, the are too impressed with the thought that I did it..... Did I metion my feet are killing me today, three miles in heels is no picnic.

Its 2am and I wanna go to bed!!!

It's 1:25 in the am and my bed is calling my name. It's too bad my parents came to visit and I am sleeping on the couch so they can enjoy the comforts of my bed. My bed. Damn. I guess its the least I can do for them. Shit I hate knowing I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight. I remember the days when I could sleep any where. Contort my body into any position and stay comfy. Now if I even breath wrong in my sleep my neck is sore. I'm getting old and its showing loud and clear. I just washed those sheets too.

Him - Her - Sex

Here is some food for thought on why a woman doesn't like sex with out the love of a relationship, see women know, in there great wisdom, that a relationship with sex is sometimes hard to keep. Sex is an excellent syllabol, which detonates meaning and is fillable with much connotation. Of coarse it conjures a deed done and conjugal entanglement of bodies, where love and lust get down to business.

Man can enjoy sex with or without the presence of love. But us women see ourselves as a sexual object and heaven forbid we engage in sex without love. What a number it does on our psyche. When their desire fires itself up and down and sometimes leads them out on the town. And silly as man may be they have the great ability to think about the sex first and worry about the feelings that may come later. And they almost seem to prefer that other word. The one that rhymes with truck, the one that gets so often stuck in awkward syntactical positions. To man sex is life in frenzied love with itself, all lips and hips, rounds and flats. For the woman sex is more of the sultry strategies and tender tactics, a sensual consensual congress.

Womans first thought comes with love, and maybe if that man is lucky sex will then become appealing. When it comes to a woman sex always starts way before the bedroom. And I think we may all agree that with men sex can draw out the upmost stupidity. They shouldnt expect much from a relationship if he isnt willing to treat her right. We wouldnt want sex to become a chore, or ultimately even a bore. Remember to show her love outside the bedroom. Because to her sex without love is fullfilling of just the physical desire, not her emotional desires and with out the emotional she will surely venture else where. When you add real love to sex, its like adding fuel to the fire.

Princess In Need

Most all my friends are looking for a man to treat them like a princess.
Been there felt that.. but right now in this very moment, I am not looking for my prince, but my partner in crime.

Just Saying.

And I Was Rattled

You came by unanounced. Caught me off guard. Why?

Waking Up Uneasy

Today I woke up with an uneasy feeling. Somethings missing. Its like no matter how hard I try there is a lonely pit in the depths of my being. Why is it that we as a human race always seem to be chasing this fullfillment, this happiness. Why is that we never seem to be content with what life has laid out for us. We need to stop seeing each day as a hardship and a step to where we are going and what we are trying to achieve, but as a gift. Each day we are givin breath to expierience all the great things in front of us. We are so lucky to be alive. Why is that we always need more.

It seems to me that we also avoid things that we are afraid of as if we are afraid that confronting them will bring on some dire consequences. What we fail to recognise is that the true dire consequences come from our fear that leads us to avoid those things that we need to discover or learn about, even if it is through our faults.

There are so many situations I myself avoid for this reason alone. And the ending result is always the same, unsatidsfied and anger for not at least trying. Avoidance is rarely satisfying. They say curiosity killed the cat, well I guess its good that that cat has nine lives. I believe I only have a few left. But now I pledge to use them each to there fullest. No more waking up uneasy.

Missing You

Every night when I lay me down to sleep,
I want to reach over and feel your touch so sweet.

Although I know right now I can't be there,
Sooner or later we will be brought together with care.

My sheets, oh so cold, I'm falling into a hole,
There's this unending empty feeling in the pit of my sole.

I start to wonder, what if we had never met,
Would my so-called-life be any better yet?

But I have never felt so beautiful , as I do when I am talking to you,

I finally found the acceptance that all along I have been yerning,
But not to forget that I am young and know I'm still learning.

Time has made me attatched to you, an emotion I don't want to let go,
I soon saw how close we were and the feeling was good to know.

The minutes without you have turned into days. The hours with you just flew past,
I only wish to see you more and make every and each new moment last.

With you I'm in a whole new world, you seem to bring out the best in me,
It is hard to think of you not being here so together our bodies can be.

I know we love the same, as it doubles day by day,
but still when I look at you, I become speachless, not knowing what to say.

Yes, I know the road ahead my get hard, and somat times may only seem rough,
But because you and I love so much I know we will always stay strong and in touch.

Though problems may lie ahead someday, and either of us could be right,
I kind of like being by your side even when I'm no where in sight.

But most of all I promise you my loving heart, you gotta promise to hold it tight,
Our dreams and passions may then live on through every night.

And each night beside my bed, when theres only that pic of you I see,
I'll pray that we will never give up and always remain you and me.

.

This is too my BFF

Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, Which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.

Friendships, I must say, are far different then all other relationships. Unlike aquaintanceships, friendship is based on love, but unlike lovers and married couples, it is free of jealousy. Unlike children and parents, it knows neither criticism or resentment. Friendship has no status in law. Business partnerships are based on a contract, as is marriage. Even your parents are bound by the law. But friendships are freely entered into, freely given, and freely exercised.

Without friends, noone would want to live, even if he or she is blessed with all other goods. I feel the worse solitude is to live life with out these such friendships. Oh, the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak. Speak freely on any subject; with whos ones deepest, along with most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Not to mention the inexpressable comforft you feel with that such a person. Having to neither weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them. Keeping what is worth keeping and then with a breath of kindness, blowing the rest away.

Bring it on wild weather, come sleet or snow, we two will stand together, however you may blow.